ESTABLISHING SHOT -- CHINESE RESTAURANT -- EVENING

A large peaked roofed building is inlaid with red and gold. Detailed carvings ribbon the wooden facade. Large stone Imperial Guardian Lions stand on either side of the walkway into the building. Out front is a tall, round storefront sign. On it is the restaurant proprietor himself, inviting diners in with his Fu Manchu moustache and poofy fro. Chinese letters encircle his grinning face, translated in a Shanghai font. Don Cho's Orange Chicken and Waffles!

INT. DON CHO'S ORANGE CHICKEN AND WAFFLES -- EVENING

The clinking of glasses intermingle with a soothing Chinese melody. The smells of exotic foods fill the air. The tall room steps downward into a large open space in the center, where a bubbling fountain feeds an indoor pond full of koi fish. A large pavilion chandelier hangs above the fountain, and along the outer walls, where the tall room is broken up by balconies, hanging lanterns put out softer light. Guo Hua paintings hang on walls. The booths that line the walls are separated by rosewood screens, made all the more beautiful by the fine latticework. A small pot of bamboo plant is the centerpiece at each table. Curvy black women serve their customers hot tea, drifting across the restaurant in silk Cheongsam dresses.

MC Chalkskin enjoys a bountiful meal in a plush booth, three beautiful Asain women pressed up against him as he dines, giggling and covering their faces shyly as they do.

ASIAN GIRL #1
Oh, Chalkskin-san.

His cellphone rings.

MC CHALKSKIN
Excuse me real quick, ladies.
(Answering his phone.)
Hello?

OPERATOR (On Personal Phone - O.P.P.)
Will you accept a collect call from Sheepdog David Grant?

MC CHALKSKIN
(Under his breath.)
I hate this guy.
(More professionally.)
Yes, I shall.

The girls protest their man being torn away from them by a phone call.

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
Mr. Chalkskin!

MC CHALKSKIN
Sheepdoggy Dog! What it is?

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
Listen, we’ve gotta talk. Are you sitting down?

MC CHALKSKIN
Yeah, I’m sitting down to dinner with three hot Asain chicks, dawg.
We’re at my favorite buffet.

MC CHALKSKIN & THE HOT ASAIN CHICKS
Don Cho’s Orange Chicken and Waffles!

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
I’m sorry to interrupt, but this is really important.

ASAIN CHICK #1
(Putting her tiny hand inside the MC’s sweatsedo.)
Come on, baby.

MC CHALKSKIN
(Sighing deeply.)
What is it, man?

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
You’re out of money.
(Dramatically.)
Again.

MC CHALKSKIN
‘Ite. So how bad this time?

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
Well, that depends. How bad would selling your house be?

MC CHALKSKIN
What’s the alternative?

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
We make some money. Lots of it. Fast.

MC CHALKSKIN
‘Ite, man. This is easy. Just call Michael Bay back about
“Alien Police 2.”

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
No, we need it faster than that.

MC CHALKSKIN
We could always do another Meat Clown commercial.

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
(Shocked and disturbed.)
We need more money than that!

MC CHALKSKIN
An album?

The girls seem pleased with this new venture.

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yes, let’s do that. But not like last time.

MC CHALKSKIN
What do you mean “not like last time?”

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
(Frustrated.)
It can’t be like “Fresh Donuts,” Whitey! It needs to be less
origin story, more commercial.

MC CHALKSKIN
(Waiting for an explanation.)
Okay.

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
Okay?
(Not waiting for a response.)
Okay. Better lyrics, better music.
(Stressing the point.)
Funnier.

MC CHALKSKIN
Whoa-ho-ho-ho. What do you mean “funnier,” man?

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
You know, more hilarity. More ha ha.

MC CHALKSKIN
(Getting angry.)
No, I don’t know what you mean? What do you mean
“more ha ha?”

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
(Confused.)
I just assumed you were going for comedy.

HOT ASIAN CHICK #2
Ha ha ha ha! You so funny!

MC CHALKSKIN
Just what do you mean “going for comedy,” man?

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
(Blowing over the question.)
Don’t worry about that. Get Pop’N’Fresh back. And I want
more Rich Prophet, more J-Man.

MC CHALKSKIN
‘Ite. Got it.

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
Chalkskin!

MC CHALKSKIN
Yeah?

SHEEPDOG (O.P.P.)
Go get that money!

A loud click is heard as Sheepdog slams down his receiver on the other end.

MC CHALKSKIN
‘Ite, ladies. It appears that Chalkskin’s broke again.

HOT ASIAN CHICK #1
Not-uh. You cheap.

MC CHALKSKIN
What exactly is the Chinese term for “dine and dash?”

HOT ASIAN CHICK #1
You figure it out.

MC CHALKSKIN
Come on. Come on. Andale! Andale!

HOT ASIAN CHICK #1
Andale?

MC CHALKSKIN
Come on. Grab your purse!

HOT ASIAN CHICK #1
Okay. Okay.

MC CHALKSKIN
Someone grab some egg rolls on the way out.

MC Chalkskin ducks his head and attempts to get the women to follow his lead of sneakily exiting the restaurant in silence.

HOT ASIAN CHICK #2
(Screaming.)
Wait! You forgot your fortune cookie!!