ANNOUNCER #1
In a financial conundrum? Need cash in a flash? Call Chalkskin’s PayDay Advance now!

DAMSEL
I was behind on my mortgage payments, and I needed money fast. I didn’t know what to do before I called Chalkskin’s PayDay Advance! Now I’m all caught up, and my landlord has stopped tying me to railroad tracks.

ANNOUNCER #1
After all, it’s your money! Don’t you want it now?

YUPPY
I run a Fortune 500 company, and I make a pretty decent wage, but with gas prices the way they are these days, even I sometimes need a little help to put some gas in my tank. Thanks to Chalkskin’s PayDay Advance, I was able to put two whole gallons into my S.U.V! God bless America!

ANNOUNCER #1
When you’re needy, Chalkskin’s speedy!

HAYSEED
My bank gouged me with severe overdraft penalties for going over by just three dollars. Thanks to Chalkskin’s PayDay Advance, I was able to stockpile enough ammunition to make sure those stuffed suits pay!

ANNOUNCER #1
Call 1-800-CHALKSKIN now, because you can’t put a price tag on peace of mind.

LEGAL
PayDay Loan availability, rates, and amounts vary by state. To apply for a PayDay Loan, you must be at least eighteen years of age, have a valid e-mail address, and willing to conscribe into indentured servitude for an extended amount of time. Active members of the Armed Forces
and their dependents do not qualify for PayDay Loans. Why not? We’re not too sure. PayDay Loans approved after five PM Central Time will be funded on the next day, except on the case of weekends, bank holidays, and any day ending in “y.” In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device. If you are unable to pay your fees, we will be entitled to your first born child until you can guess my name.

ANNOUNCER #1
Can’t wait ‘til Friday? Make today PayDay!

ANNOUNCER #2
Chalkskin’s PayDay Advance. Call 1-800-CHALKSKIN now.

D.J. POP’N’FRESH
Pop’N’Fresh approved!