ANNOUNCER
Meet George.

GEORGE
Hello.

ANNOUNCER
George is a nerd.

GEORGE
Yes, I am.

ANNOUNCER
A geek.

GEORGE
Yes.

ANNOUNCER
A freak.

GEORGE
Okay. I - I - I think that’s enough.

ANNOUNCER
George is terrible with the ladies.

GEORGE
I do have a problem with the ladies.

ANNOUNCER
They find him repellant.

GEORGE
Sometimes, yes.

ANNOUNCER
Often times, they refer to him as “creepy.”

GEORGE
Can you believe it?

ANNOUNCER
George is a total waste of human flesh.

GEORGE
Alright, guy. That’s enough.

ANNOUNCER
That was before George discovered the new fragrance by Chalkskin: CASH! Now George smells like money, which women find extremely attractive. Now George is cool.

GEORGE
Yeah.

SEXY LADY
Mmm. You smell good.

ANNOUNCER
Smooth.

GEORGE
Aw yeah.

SEXY LADY
I love the smell of money.

ANNOUNCER
Absolutely irresistible.

GEORGE
That be true.

SEXY LADY
Oh, Georgie Worgie!

ANNOUNCER
George doesn’t even need to try with the ladies anymore.

GEORGE
Don’t even need to wear a forty million dollar suit.

SEXY LADY
You remind me of George Washington.

ANNOUNCER
They find him irresistible.

GEORGE
I’m a magnet, fool.

SEXY LADY
Ooh! Just make it rain.

ANNOUNCER
They want him so bad.

GEORGE
It’s all up in this.

SEXY LADY
Is that a wad of money in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

ANNOUNCER
George is a god.

GEORGE
Smell me.

SEXY LADY
Ooh. That’s a big roll of quarters.

ANNOUNCER
Cash. The new fragrance by Chalkskin.

GEORGE
I’m green, girl.

SEXY LADY
I heard it’s not easy being green. I can make it easier for you.

LEGAL
Side effects may include:
Hardened nipples
More attractive to opposite sex among your family
Monogamy
Street credibility
More sensitive taste buds
Warts
Nails falling out
Gender confusion
Mouse ears
Swelling of the tear ducts
Leprosy
Gangrene
Ability to talk to fish
Bleeding from the ears
Bleeding from the eyes
Bleeding from the sweat glands
Distended esophagus
Psychic migraines
Endless reincarnation
Stigmata
Acid reflux
Double jointedness
Spontaneous combustion
Lupus
Increased sensitivity in the sphincters
Increased sensitivity to changes in light, temperature, and barometric pressure
Unexplained body piercings
Hangover
Rolling blackouts
Narcolepsy
Epilepsy
Diet Pepsi
Refusal to take the red pill
Deep seeded love for neckerchiefs
Overwhelming desire to find out who the real killer is
Hammer toe
Hammer time
Hammer head
Arm & Hammer
And. . .
Extra chakras

ANNOUNCER
Cash!

GEORGE
Get on me now.

DJ POP’N’FRESH
Pop’N’Fresh approved!